Not a Damsel in Distress

damsel fly

I have been doing a lot of walking on the trail behind our home, now that the weather in Minnesota is providing ample opportunity to get outside and enjoy springtime.

This past week, I have been surrounded by these beautifully sleek, black-winged dragonflies. They are so cool because when they hit the light a certain way, they have a beautiful blue hue to their bodies and head. I posted a picture of one on Facebook recently, and a friend of mine said it was a “Damselfly”. I had never heard of a Damselfly so I immediate took to the Internet to learn more about these beautiful creatures.

Damselflies are similar to dragonflies but with a much sleeker body and the eyes are positioned a bit differently. This species has also been around for the past 250 to almost 300 million years ago (from the Permian Period)! Seriously? These little creatures survived extinction when 90% of marine life died and 70% of terrestrial species died out (

I have been enthralled with these beautiful damselflies because I have had one be very persistent with me, landing on my hand and my heart. This is especially poignant for me because a friend of mine died earlier this year. As she was transitioning into Hospice, we had a “text” conversation about how she might show up after she transitioned from this life to the next.  This is her response to that question: “It was given to me yesterday! It’s a dragonfly! It came to me as a blue or green one but I have a feeling it could be any color.” As I am writing this, I am getting chills because I know Karrie is right here, making sure I get this message across correctly!

She questioned the meaning of the dragonfly, so I shared with her the story from the Dragonfly Project:

“In the bottom of an old pond lived some grubs who could not understand why none of their groups ever came back after crawling up the stems of the lilies to the top of the water. The promised each other that the next one who was called to make the upward climb would return and tell what happened to him. Soon one of them felt the urgent impulse to seek the surface; he rested himself on the top of a lily pad and went through a glorious transformation, which made him a dragonfly with beautiful wings. In vain he tried to keep his promise. Flying back and forth over the pond, he peered down at his friends below. Then he realized that even if they could see him they would not recognize such a radiant creature as one of their number.

The fact that we cannot see our friends or communicate with them after the transformation, which we call death, is no proof that they cease to exist.”  ~Walter Dudley Cavert~

Karrie’s beautiful energy has been showing up for me this past week because she has a message to all who grieve (chills coming again…).

Her message is simple: “Your beloved daughters, sisters, and mothers, are NOT damsels in distress. We are brilliant, light, and our spirits are filled with ease. We ask that you find ways to ease your grief. Find healthy ways to heal through music, nature, art, or whatever gives you comfort and peace. Someday, you too will experience the magic of moving to your next circle of life and then you will truly understand, but do not seek it too soon. We do not want you to suffer needlessly by tormenting yourself with guilt, anger, or sadness. Embrace the life you have today and honor us by living your life to the fullest!”

As I was getting this message, a female cardinal flew across my path and landed so I could gaze upon her for a bit. Then a dragonfly swooped in front of me as if to say “hey, do not forget about the sons, brothers and fathers…”. Finally, as I was walking back to my home, a brilliant male cardinal flew directly in front of me.

We are barraged with signs constantly from our loved ones who have moved from this life to their next one – we just need to open our hearts to see and to BELIEVE.

If you are grieving the death of a loved one, take a minute and close your eyes. Breathe deeply three times in through your nose, and out through your mouth, to clear your mind, your heart, and your soul. Begin to breathe gently in and out of your nose, allowing your body, mind and spirit to relax. Allow the happy and beautiful images of your loved one to enter into your mind’s eye. Ask them to send you a sign, and then move about your days with an open heart and mind.

When you do see the sign, trust and then thank your loved one for always being near.

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I was guided to take this picture of this simple white flower as a gift from your loved one to you…

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