As I mentioned in my previous blog post about a month ago, I shared that our pup Gracee, was diagnosed with metastatic cancer throughout her lymph nodes. The prognosis was poor from the beginning, when the veterinarian at the University of Minnesota Veterinary Clinic called me to tell me the biopsy results… approximately four weeks to live was what we were told.
This news was horrifying to us and when I think back to that phone call, I am sitting here with tears blurring my vision and streaming down my cheeks making it difficult to type these words.
On January 28th, our Gracee made her transition across the “rainbow bridge”. A mere three weeks from the day we found out her diagnosis.
Those three weeks were filled with intentionality each and every day. Knowing that we may have a limited period of time with her, allowed us to BE with her in a way that we may not have been, had we not known that she was dying. We had some amazing and very precious memories made during those three weeks. We had romps at the dog park where I was able to capture video of our girl running with total abandon… with total freedom. We spent time cuddling at every opportunity.
What I learned during this time was how to be fully present. Any time my mind wandered off into the future, I would begin to cry because I could not imagine not having Gracee physically in our lives. As the sobs would start to overtake me, I had to tell myself out loud, “Pat, focus on the present moment and breathe…”. I did exactly as I was told and brought my mind to the present, stroking her fur and telling her how much I loved her. Within minutes of getting back to present moment, the tears stopped flowing and my heart stopped aching.
Sometimes my mind would wander to the past, and I would begin to feel guilty that I hadn’t recognized the signs, or angry that she wasn’t diagnosed sooner, so that we could have had a chance to find a cure for her. Again, when the emotions started to build, I had to remind myself to get back to the present moment, where I would lay with her and bury my head into her fur, taking in the absolute essence of her.
It was in those moment of being present, when my faith was at its greatest. Faith that I would honor her when she told me it was time to leave this earth, and faith that her little soul would be unleashed from her physical body and be able to freely move throughout the ethers. Faith that she was never going to be far away… that her spirit would always surround me.
Gracee came into my life for a definite purpose… to teach me, so that I may be able to help others move from the despair of death & dying, to living a life with grace.
My purpose on this earth is to be a healing guide for those who have experienced a life altering event. Gracee and I made a deal long before our souls came to this earth… our agreement was that she would teach me how to love unconditionally and be a light for those who mourn. Her part of this agreement was met on January 28th, 2017, and I feel so blessed that I was able to have her as part of my life for these last six years.
A month ago, my plan was to have Gracee be a part of my coaching practice, coming to the office with me and sharing her beautiful energy with my clients, and we were fortunate to be able to have her come twice to my new office location, leaving her beautiful paw print of energy within this physical space before she took her leave from this earth.
I am not letting go of the dream of having Gracee be a part of my coaching practice. In fact, little Gracee’s Hope, will soon become a part of our family! Hope will take over where Gracee left off, with new energy and a heart filled with unconditional love for all who come to visit!
When we remember who we are and why we came to this earth, we realize that death is a part of living… the continuous circle of life.