Healing Ourselves Through Others

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August has been a month of some incredible opportunities for me to witness the power of healing sad hearts and physical issues, by being in the company of other people who were willing to hold the space of love and comfort for others.

Earlier this month, I went to Montana with a girlfriend to meet up with some other friends. We had a magnificent time seeing the sights, dancing to the blues, and just being in the company of good people. When we were at the airport waiting to board our plane back home, I was given an opportunity to spend some time with a woman I had never met before. We started up a conversation while charging our phones at the airport and within a few minutes, I learned that this woman has experienced some significant layering of grief over the past few years. Her husband died a few years ago, her one and only child died a little over forty days after her husband, and then her elderly mother died just this past year.

Instead of shying away from what some may think as a difficult conversation, I asked questions about her loved ones. We spoke a lot about her son, the son who was such a bright light in her life and the lives of others. She shared his picture and I hugged her when she cried. Shortly after the tears, she would be telling me a story that had us both smiling – the rollercoaster effect of grief occurring minute by minute. I then asked her about her mother and if she had a sign which reminded her of her mother’s spirit. She told me that she sang “You Are My Sunshine” to her mother every day when she went to visit her at the nursing home. I could not help myself and before I knew it, the song sprang from my lips and she soon joined along. I am not sure what other people thought of these two women sitting in the middle of the airport, busting out the lyrics to “You Are My Sunshine”, but it made no difference to us. I could see that this beautiful woman had found a tiny bit of healing during our brief interaction, because she took part of healing herself through being vulnerable and open with a total stranger.

new friend at airportMy new friend and I at the Billings airport

Shortly after I returned home, I went to a funeral for the father of some close friends of mine. Let’s face it, funerals are sad times in our lives because the physical presence of our loved one no longer exists. Funerals are also sad because we are flooded with memories, some good and some not so great. I appreciated the eulogy for this funeral because it was a eulogy of truth… a eulogy of healing.

His son-in-law started out the eulogy acknowledging what we all knew, his father-in-law struggled for many years with alcoholism. A struggle that caused extreme pain within the family for decades. The acknowledgement of what could have been a buried secret, soon turned into a story of love and forgiveness. This was a family who was able to work through the emotional pain that arises from alcoholism and come to a true place of love and understanding. How beautiful that this healing occurred well before this man died, so that the memories that remain in his loved ones hearts are of love and light.

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Finally, the most recent evidence of finding healing through others occurred at a retreat I was at this weekend. Nineteen of us met up at a retreat located on a beautiful farm setting in Minnesota. It was a full weekend of being in the company of people who all have a goal to shine our light out into the world in whatever way is right for each of us.

It didn’t take but a few hours before we began to see the peeling away of stuck perceptions and emotions, allowing light to began to shine out from within some of the participants. It was as if we could see the light bulb turn on in someone’s mind’s eye when the AHA moments came and they started to allow the love for themselves glow from within. The biggest obstacle many of us have in our healing, is the lack of giving love to ourselves. Many of us give so much to others, but we forget to give back to ourselves –  to fill up the well of love that resides within our hearts so that others may drink from it.

The most miraculous healing occurred when a woman who was afflicted with facial paralysis (Bell’s Palsy) two years ago, woke up on Sunday morning and she could literally smell the bacon being cooked for our breakfast. This lovely soul had not smelled anything in two years!

Did someone else heal her? No. We all held her in the space and the belief that she was beautiful and whole. She stepped into that space and healed herself. Was it a miracle? I guess we could call it that. It was a miracle in the fact that we are all living miracles. We are all capable of healing ourselves with the support of others who encourage us to believe in ourselves, and to love ourselves unconditionally.

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When you find yourself feeling sad or lonely, encircle yourself with the love of others and you will find healing. Allow your light to shine within so that the beautiful garden of you fully blooms!

COMING SOON!

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Stress due to physical or emotional trauma has been linked to cancer, autoimmune diseases, depression and much more. I will be offering group workshops in Minnesota beginning in mid-October to teach participants tools and techniques to help deal reduce stress and promote healing of mind, body, and spirit.

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If you haven’t ordered your copy of The Mourning’s Light: Life After Child Loss, please consider going to http://www.amazon.com  and ordering it. I have been getting some wonderful messages from people on how this book has helped them process their emotions from buried grief.

If you have read the book and it resonated for you, please take a moment and write a review on Amazon or Goodreads if you would, to let others know how the stories contained within this book hold messages of hope and insight.

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