I have had a few weeks of feeling a bit off of my game. I wasn’t sure if it was just coming down from the “high” of getting my book published, or the vacation that didn’t feel like a vacation. The feelings culminated in my feeling edgy and not very sociable, which was not great timing because my husband’s parents and our kids and granddaughters are here for a visit after traveling a great distance to see the family.
Today, I left my visiting family and my husband at our river property up north, to travel back home to my 92 year old mother who lives with us. I am not feeling comfortable leaving her alone with our dogs for any length of time because Mom tends to be more forgetful about eating and taking her medication properly plus she gets lonely with no human interaction in the house if we are gone for longer periods of time.
I knew the best place for me this afternoon was to spend a couple of hours on my motorcycle, allowing a sense of freedom to be alone in my thoughts while riding the highways and back roads for the three hour ride home. Within a short period of time, I could feel my emotions starting to release. I felt sad but as I dug a little deeper into my self reflection, I realized that I was tired. Tired of running back and forth, to and fro, trying to meet my family’s needs and remaining true to my obligations to everyone.
When I got home, I saw our lawn needed cutting and the weeds were getting out of control. It was while I was weeding when I had the realization that we really have not been tending to our home very well. The house needs a thorough cleaning, there are some minor repairs to be completed, the landscaping needs an overhaul in some areas, and the lawn needs watering. My husband and I have just not given our home the time and attention it needs. Since we have been talking about selling our home once my mom is no longer with us, I feel like we need to up our home maintenance game so when the time comes to put our house on the market in the future, it will be in great shape.
It was during my weeding “meditation” when my AHA MOMENT struck. I quickly saw that I have been lacking attention to my internal home as much as I was with my external home! I have been so busy the last 35 years of my life being a caregiver to both patients and family, and being a corporate career woman, that I have not tended to my own emotional gardens and the structure of my internal home is sorely in need of some maintenance.
I understood in that moment that the time has come for me to get updated with a fresh outlook and to bring in some low maintenance areas within my life. I do not have to be the caretaker for everyone anymore because our children have grown into highly responsible adults. I do not have to play an executive role in a corporation anymore, that is left to the next generation. I can take this time to care for my home where my life purpose resides. I will nurture my gardens with tender loving care and light nourishing them with mindfulness through my writing, speaking, coaching, and teaching.
How is your home holding up? Does it need a little TLC?