Promoting One’s Self Without Ego


This is the week where I am going to officially launch my book. I have scheduled two book signings for the  week, one in July, and another on August 1st.

Getting to this point over the past several weeks has placed me well outside of my comfort zone, because I needed to be promoting myself a bit to promote my book. Self promotion is not easy for me because I was taught that thinking too highly of one’s self is not a good trait.  Being humble is a virtue, and  humility is the goal.

So here I am, having to post the flyer about my book on Twitter, LinkedIn, and Facebook with a big old picture of my face taking up most of the copy.  I am having to ask people to buy my book and when they send me a nice note about how much they enjoyed the book, I am having to ask them to consider going to Amazon to write a review. I even went so far as to contact the editor of my local newspaper and asked to have the paper run an article about me and my book (which they so generously did).

article in paper

It honestly has been a big job to keep my inner critic from whispering in my ear as she sits on my shoulder. The little critic who is telling me “you are not good enough”, ” what makes you think that you are so special?”, “everyone is going to think that you are egotistical”, and “really –  you think your book is good enough?” When that little voice pops up, it has taken great fortitude to tell her to back off and to not believe all those things that are being said in my head.

Yesterday morning, I woke up with an uneasy feeling  that I am telling some of my family’s story in this book, knowing that my mother is a shy, reserved woman who would never air “her dirty laundry”.  I started questioning myself about whether I was doing the right thing by making this book public. I decided that I needed to do some deep reflection to decide whether I keep moving forward with the promotion of this book.

I went to our local cemetery where my dad and my brother Greg are buried. I sat down on the grass by their gravestones and I allowed myself to get into a meditative state as I asked one question: “Am I doing the right thing by bringing this book out into the public?” Then I sat quietly, picking up a pen and notebook and began writing all the thoughts that came to me.  After several minutes, the answer came loud and clear – I am to continue to promote and sell this book because it was written with the intent to help others and it was never intended to cause embarrassment to my mother and family. I reminded myself that I took great pains to write a book of honor and understanding for my mother and with that intent, I am doing the right thing.

When I returned home from the cemetery, I told my mother that I know how  uncomfortable it is for her to have her story told publicly. I also told her that it has already helped several people and it is meant to help many more. I let her know that I love her and that my intent was never to harm her in any way. She looked up at me and said “I am okay”.

The gremlin finally hopped off of my shoulder at that moment.

I know that it will still be uncomfortable for me to be blasting out promotional information. I also know that some people may think I am being awfully “full of myself”,  and I know that I will have to work with my life coach and myself in keeping my inner critic at bay and my ego in check. I will thank my inner critic and ego for helping me to always stay humble and not let success or compliments overtake my true intent – to help others heal.

For the hundreds of people who have “liked” my posts on Facebook – I thank you from the bottom of my heart. For the people who have already purchased my book – I thank you for spending your hard-earned cash to read the stories of the beautiful people who are part of this book. For those of you who have written a review or sent me a note telling me how much you thought of the book – I bow my head in gratitude. For those of you who will be out supporting me in person at my events, I am honored. Finally, thank you to the people who are helping me promote the book – the newspaper editor of my local paper, the librarian of my local library, and all of my family and friends who share my promotional posts to raise awareness of my book.

Violet Wisdom

Namaste: The Spirit in me, honors the Spirit in you

Question: How do you handle those times when the little voice in your head is telling you that you are not good enough? I would love to hear your ways of dealing with your inner critic(s) – please comment below!

I would like to end this post with a Happy Father’s Day to all! To my dad in Heaven – thank you for giving me the spiritual support during my journey of writing and publishing this book!

dad and I circ a1981

Dad and I (1982)




2 thoughts on “Promoting One’s Self Without Ego

  1. I totally get it! It comes down to moving past the inner naysayers so that we can share our gifts for the greater purpose of knowing that there are people who will be served by them. For me, I have to be able to say what I am feeling and struggling with out loud. A little verbal purge with a trusted confidant is usually all it takes to get me back on track. If no one is available, I use my journal for the same.

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