The Compassionate Self – Fake It ‘Til You Make It


Mourning Angel - Rosie

The Mourning Angel – Rosie with a Posey

Why is it that when those we love are hurting, we want to do everything we can to help them feel better… to let them know they are loved… yet when we are hurting, we refuse to send that same compassion and love to ourselves?

Many of us are so hard on ourselves and we place ourselves at a much higher expectation than we would with most other people. I know that when I say or do something that I view as negative or hurtful to others, I am ashamed and angry at myself for not being the person that I ascribe to be (loving and compassionate).

When we exhibit behaviors that we view as negative, it is most likely due to the fact that we are reacting to feelings of hurt, anger, sadness, or fear. We end up “acting out” in a way to release the pain and then… the self-loathing gremlin shows up on our shoulder. That old gremlin starts whispering in our ear telling us we are not worthy, we are pathetic… we are unlovable.

I know if any of my friends and family came to me hurt, angry, sad, or fearful, I would be supportive and loving. I would build them up and let them know how much they are loved… how much they mean to me. I would make it my mission to help them turn up their light and find comfort, peace and joy in their lives.

So why don’t we treat ourselves as our best friend? Frankly, there is no one I know who has been with me through every experience I have had in this life other than myself. There is no one who has fought harder for me when I was struggling than the person who resides in this body of mine. The only person who has forced me to lift up one foot and plant it in front of the other was me…

It was me who slowly moved me forward when I felt mired in the muck of life…

So when the self-loathing gremlin is invading our thoughts and actions, sometimes we just have to “fake it ’til we make it”, and tell ourselves that we are worthywe are lovedwe are strongwe are beautiful.

tell yourself you are amazing photo

I know, I know… it sounds really corny to do self-affirmations and reminds us of Stuart Smalley, the fictional self-help guru on Saturday Night Live… we think it looks and sounds stupid to look in a mirror and literally tell ourselves that we are wonderful.

The truth is… self affirmation does work.

Once we begin to believe in ourselves, we can overcome any adversity and begin to feel worthy… loved… strong… and beautiful. As we repetitively think positive thoughts, our brains begin to integrate those positive thoughts into our neurons and can actually change our DNA… we can heal ourselves through our words and thoughts.

Call To Action

If you are struggling with feelings of hurt, sadness, anger, or fear, write down one thing positive about yourself and tape it up on your mirror in your bathroom, tape it on the dashboard of your car, record it into your phone, and then say it out loud overtime you see the note or hear the recording.

Fake It Until You Make It

for you are worthy… you are loved… you are strong… you are beautiful


You are the best friend you can ever have!

Second Call To Action

Please leave your message of hope for those who are struggling right now. Share your story in the “Comments” section of this post so others can see the power of self-compassion and self-healing.

Are You Ready To A.A.C.T. Today®?

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4 thoughts on “The Compassionate Self – Fake It ‘Til You Make It

  1. I so love this Pat, especially at this time of year when Peace, Love and Happiness is suppose to be so prevalent it is easy to be hard on yourself, because at times you can feel you aren’t doing enough for those around you. I know I can, so then I find my quit place, say a little prayer and get me some Peace. God Bless you My Friend for who you are and what you do.

  2. I am the Queen of Fake it til you Make it! You my friend have helped me believe in myself and overcome profound sadness in my life. I highly recommend Pat Sheveland of Positive Aspects Today. I am now finding happiness in everyday living, my children and grandchildren, my family and beautiful friends as well as my career. Life is Good!

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