Celebrating for Self-Esteem


As many of my readers know, I am on my journey in becoming a certified coach through the MentorCoach training program and ultimately through the International Coaching Federation.   After researching various certification programs, I chose MentorCoach because of its emphasis on using a Positive Psychology approach to coaching.  I am now in an Intensive Individual Coaching Skills Master Class taught by Ann Durand, CEO, Training Director and Master Coach – a true master of her coaching skills.

Each week we have homework assignments where we practice the previous week’s skills with one of our classmates.  During my homework session on Sunday evening,  I had a great conversation with my classmate about the importance of building self-esteem in young school age children.  She said something that really resonated with me:  if children are given the cheering, support and positive reinforcement, success follows…

This really hit home for me because my one year old grand-daughter is here for a visit this week and I can see the self-esteem that she has gained during her first year of life.  Her parents (okay,  Grandmomma and Grandpa too) celebrate her constantly,  cheering her on for every momentous occasion like eating her pancakes in the morning… or turning the pages of the book as she speaks in a language we can’t quite understand yet… or moving her little legs and arms to the beat of the songs on Yo Gabba Gabba that we listen to over… and over… and over again.  For us,  any accomplishment is worth celebrating because every one of those accomplishments is a stepping stone in her growth and development.

How would you like to be celebrated like that on a regular basis?  What if you were given that type of support and positive reinforcement for everything step in your growth and development… like getting your email inbox cleaned out… or walking a mile a few times a week… or writing that speech… or getting a passing grade on that test you were not confident about… or successfully obtaining that promotion that has been your goal?  A coach can and will support you to be able to reach your goals and will celebrate you each time you carry out what you are setting out to do… no matter how big or how small.

With cheering, support and positive reinforcement success follows…

When was the last time someone celebrated you when you achieved your goal?

2 thoughts on “Celebrating for Self-Esteem

  1. It’s good to celebrate accomplishments, especially with the little ones…but at the same time, I have noticed with a lot of younger people these days that they expect constant positive feedback and do not stand for any criticisms–we’ll-meaning or not.
    We cannot grow as individuals if we do not acknowledge our imperfections and try to improve ourselves. People can’t function in society if they never face with adversity. Being able to deal with conflict on our own is a hallmark of maturity.
    So, again while I agree that we need positive feedback, constant praise for non-accomplishments is not something I would really endorse.
    But that’s just my two cents.

    1. Mallory,

      First and foremost, thanks for taking the time to read and respond to my bog posts!

      I agree with you that we grow and develop through the various challenges we go through in our lives and it can be those times when we do not accomplish something that can be the most important learning in terms of resiliency and how to deal with adversity.

      Positive Psychology is about focusing on our strengths versus viewing as weaknesses. I have always believed that anything taken to extremes is not healthy… Our strengths can become our Achilles heel at times. My example is that I am passionate and very expressive. When I’m passionate I get louder and that can be intimidating for others so I have to be aware of how my strength can be uncomfortable to others.

      Reinforcing non- healthy behaviors is not something that I would advocate for anyone and especially impressionable young kids.

      It is all about a balance I believe…

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